Lies are like scars to your soul.
Relationships involve a hit and trial method. At each step, you need to understand what goes with the flow, and what ticks them off. You adjust yourself, make compromises, and take a leap of faith. What you absolutely abstain from is lying. It is that faith that makes the boat move forward without rocking it too much.
Love in such relationships is all about appreciating, forgiving and forgetting. Almost anything that comes your way requires dealing with it together.
Yes, I said almost. No matter how strong a couple is, the moment you choose to lie, it all ends.
An argument that surfaces often is a justification of the said lie. Now it is crucial to understand that there is no such thing ‘lying for a good cause’. The very crux of lying involves soiling the sanctity of the relationship. A relationship can pass the tests of time, the hardships and obstacles. We come across those who swear by their love for each other. The testimony to their love is their trust in the person they love.
One might recall an episode of “How I Met Your Mother”, where Marshall asks all his friends to do something for him ‘no questions asked’. However, in case of Lily (his wife), he does not call her his life partner but his best friend. The one person he never lies to or hides anything. There is only the truth and nothing else.
Isn’t that what every relationship should aim to achieve?
The fact that one feels the need to lie causes a break in the thread of love. You can try to make a tighter knot all you want; there is always this evidence of what you really did. You not only lie to save yourself from an unwanted confrontation, you add a hundred more lies to cover it up. What you thought could be your saving grace becomes a noose around your relationship.
You end up betraying your partner’s trust and a cloud of doubt looms over your relationship for the rest of your life. One little lie can create a havoc in your love life.
Another cause and effect about lying is that it permeates every aspect of your life, and stays for long. You cannot simply apologize and expect the person to forget about it the next moment. Every step you take from hereon is a reflection of that one lie. It is even worse when the lie is never caught. All of a sudden, you are invincible and opt to get away with a lie than to own up to the truth. What follows is a destruction of all that you love and cherish.
Agreed that it is indeed difficult to accept our mistakes and agree that you have failed. However, isn’t that the power of a relationship? You can be yourself, be human and look at yourself as you do in a mirror. If you love that person, it already says that you can show your faults and scars and be what you are. This might set them back for a day or two but it’s nothing compared to being caught in a lie.
It seems similar to the story of the ‘boy who cried wolf’; you lie a million times and lose all respect. Moreover, when you finally do tell the truth, not a single person is going to believe the words that come out of you. One a liar, always a liar.
Furthermore, a single lie can become a stepping-stone to be a compulsive liar. You wear a mask that hides the real you, and the foundation of your relationship becomes hollow. You can scratch at it all you want, but the truth is out there for all to see.
Hence, when you ‘lie’ and put yourself above everyone you love, there is no coming back from it. No herb can heal the wounds of betrayal from your incessant lying.