Commitment is a Two-Way Street
When two people come together, any two people, an instant bond develops. Overtime it takes many names and forms as it unfolds into something new. Often, small talks blossom into beautiful relationships.
All of us have been, or still are, a part of a relationship at some point. There are relationships that hit you like that groovy beat of a new song you just cannot get over. While others have their ebbs and flows, a little rough, but eventually you get to the shore. Then there are relationships that are downright toxic, eating you up inside until you are nothing but a husk. The ones that make you see everyone with scepticism. All you get is a broken heart and a whole lot of questions.
It doesn’t always begin this way though. In fact it is quite like the first ray of sunshine in a winter’s morning, warming you up inside. The smile that moves your world and the voice that makes you dance. You hang on to each word, reading between each letter. Interpret what he says to find a thousand meanings, both good and bad. You analyse everything he says as if your life depends on it. That is where you mess it up.
No wonder when love hits you, it actually does that. “Hit you”. Everything that you have known so far goes down the garbage chute. You give your all to him and your relationship, committing yourself to it. This commitment cannot stand alone on one foot. It is quite like a three-legged race, each one has to do half the effort. Moreover, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. More often than not, it becomes the sole reason why relationships fall down face forward.
Don’t settle for just about anything
Before things take a faster pace, you need to understand where he stands. While a man will let you know what he feels, there are those who like to play around. That is what you should look out for in particular. Men like these will make sure you are hopelessly in love with them, but they cannot give you the same. Rather, they do not want to do it. Adding on, they will have a hoard of excuses to back it up. Something like, ‘they just got over a terrible relationship’, even if it has been years since that happened. Alternatively, it goes as, ‘I’ve been hurt a lot’, a classic trick in the books. In no way does this mean that men do not get hurt. However using it as a patented excuse every single time is a big hint.
He can go around asking you to be patient. There is nothing wrong with that when it is a genuine case. However, making someone fawn over you and giving scraps in return is a whole other thing. If your man does this, it is time to reconsider the entire situation. The red flags are already there, you just have to look real close. For instance, when he does not acknowledge your relationship in front of others when it has been a long time. Key word here is ‘a long time’.
When he picks on your flaws and asks you to change that about yourself because apparently that is where the problem lies. You know what they say about people with glasshouses. Moreover, if you do give improving yourself a chance, if only it is something you know is a deal breaker, the situation stays the same. Why you ask? Because you changed too much. There is no pleasing them!
Get your priorities straight
A man who does not want to commit, will not do it for anyone. Making yourself believe otherwise is a mistake you cannot afford to make. You might think you are important, but believing that you are his special snowflake is delusional. Then why hang on to that hollowed out promise that never goes out the window.
Relationships are no rocket science; you are in or out, it is that simple. Because when you do love someone, you don’t feel nervous or sceptical. There are no orchestras playing in the background, not even a single guitar. There are no butterflies, or a breeze of love. Life is not a rom-com, and you do not dance around trees. You know it is real when you feel at home. You are at peace. A contented sigh leaves you and you know that is where you want to be, come hell or high water.
If you do not feel any of these, do not lounge around wasting yourself. You are worth so much more than a fling or a little fun in the sheets. Get up, pack your bags, and get yourself that man who knows what he wants.
Think about what you want. There is a man who has his life together, and knows your worth. On the other hand, a cranky baby who loves his toy, until the moment he sees a new shiny one. Then you are old news.
Choice is yours.